so i’ve lost another one…
told him i couldnt work the “private event” this weekend, told him any of the other girls could easily do it much better (oh, trust me they would! i am completely unqualified for this line of work too!!)…he was pissed! (i will never get used to in-your-face screaming…no matter how many times and how many threats…i will never get used to that in all my life! him screaming at me while i hold my sick baby)
he said the customers were adamant…that they requested ME by name. i dont know how that happens… no one i call friend knew where i was working… no one i call friend would ask me to work that at an after party.
THEN he told them i’d make it up to them next Wednesday night… on drunk night? you’ve got to be kidding me? i didnt agree to that. i didnt agree to private events off site. the only Rob and Sam i know wouldnt have me do this. (the only Rob and Sam i know live on opposite sides of the state and dont know each other)
i told him i cant do it…Lilly is sick. that’s that.
(well, yeah, of course i didnt WANT to do this type of work…i never thought i’d work a job like this…EVER…but after i lost those other jobs in Sept…lost them/had them taken away, what does it matter. taxes were due… i was a few thousand short of the nearly $16000 i needed… medical bills and taxes… (b/c nothing can be simple… i have no insurance through work and my “income 2007″ disqualifies me from full NY Health coverage, but my status and ”income 2008″ makes insurance premiums costly and prohibitive) taxes on the house…on my income… what else could i do? i needed to make $$ fast! pride doesnt pay the bills…)
i told him at the time he hired me at the end of Sept that she is part of the deal… she needs to come with me… i thought he understood… i thought that is why he made a spot for her in the dressing/prep room for while i was there. its not the best of environments, but it was secure… just us girls
i dont understand. i dont do “events” at private residences…i dont do after parties. i dont understand how the rules changed…
Lilly’s sick…i cant take her out. she has three different types of medicine… she wont eat and hardly drinks… i cant take her out like this.
he said the customer who requested me was upset and that it left him no choice. (he said a few other choice things…called me a few other things…again… i know… Ozz would tell me to suck it up… but no matter how often i see people being dispassionate… i dont think i will ever be able to take it as normal and justified behavior…)
but geez…look how far i have sunk… i cant even hold THAT kinda job.
i’m pretty darn worthless…
Lilly’s sick… cycling a 101-102 temp for the last day and half… i am all she has… i cant seem to do anything right for her atm either…but i’m all she has
we’ll pull out a few more layers and turn down the heat a couple notches to agree with the bank account…maybe i’ll see if they can sell the Honda for me.
it’s not all bad… i’ll be making desserts this weekend (106 charity desserts by next Thursday to make!!!) its something to keep my mind off the obvious-to-me-worries. yeah…there are people far worse off…it doesnt take much to remind me of that.
but that’s tomorrow or Saturday work…right now…Lilly needs to be held
it’ll be fine…b/c there simply isnt any other choice than that atm
(and why does his gf keep calling me?? he’s gone from me!! he has NO interest!!! i need him soooo, but all that remains is what i write on air, in my mind and here to “my dearest…” any idle curiosity he may have had was eliminated! leave me be, please. we have never met, but i often wonder what kind of girl hunts down and tries to hurt a 9 mos old child??? me? yeah, i deserve it…but not Lilly!!! i pray to God you treat his boys far better!! please…)
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