Aslan’s Mountains

5 05 2009

aslan-at-the-top-of-nys

because that’s who he is…aslan-at-the-top 

he goes away but doesnt forget me

taking me with him where ever he goes

and he has been to some of the most amazing places… do you see those mountain tops…waterfall-may-2009

i am still recovering…my left eye is bad and i cannot make it down the street… but with him i have strength

and from him i see so many things i could never imagine. “don’t worry baby…there is this one place in White ______ where we can drive right up”

snowpacked-trail-may-2009

here in May and there is still snow on the trail (he is patient and explains all)

and he couldnt wait to share what he saw with me… couldnt wait to talk with me.

(to all you doubters that make me feel low and like i do not know…he loves me…got it… he loves me and the baby and he will never leave us…he would never hurt her or i like that…got it… you are wrong…i belong ONLY with him and he wants only me…got it…do you see now???? it is real…it is true…he isn’t using me… and the fact that i cant walk far or may be in a wheelchair when i am very old because of all this now…the fact that i have scars and damage …he loves me…he has really left her and really doesnt want to go back to that other girl…dont you see? he has proven it!!! got it??? he wont abandon me…this proves it…you see??? i am what he wants… he stayed for months…he has been for years…he came back to campfire-by-aslan-may-2009stay just as he promised he would stay and not pressure…because he loves me …do you see? i did not judge wrong…i am not being foolish or naive…he is not using me…he wants a life with Lilly and i and he will not leave! he knows that i cannot be part-time or now-and-again girl. he knows that Lilly needs more than i had…she needs more than occasional weekend daddy. he will never break our hearts!!! do you see? he wants me by his side forever…Aslan Sweeney loves Melissa Eider!!!)

and to make me feel as if i were there beside him…he made me this:

Panorama of mountainss on CleVR.com

 

he loves me…do you see? even though i am banged up and they say scary things about my eye…he loves me!  you are wrong…he intends to stay forever!! he loves me!!! even if my “want” and my “can” may not match for a bit…you are wrong… he is MY Aslan and he is as enduring as those mountains!!

so i do not want to wait for your indefinite timeline of proof Dr. Bennett. i want to bring Aslan home. i will bring Aslan home…to late for the night…but i will bring him home tomorrow after my appt. he loves me…do you see? he will stay with me because he love me above all others (except his son and Lilly)

i know your tired now Aslan…smiles and kisses and sweet dreams…

(and he will come home tomorrow and stay forever! it is NOT too prideful to tell him where. it’s not to vain to ask. it is NOT too expectant to want him and everything else. i am not misjudging or misreading because he chose me…you see? someone CHOSE me!)

 

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